Recently, I shared how I started dancing but what I didn’t include was the more relevant story of how I almost didn’t start dancing.
Have you ever experienced contraction in the form of inhibition, doubt, obstacles, distraction or sometimes blatant self-sabotage just prior to expanding into a grander embodiment of your true self or taking an action aligned with fulfilling your heart’s purpose?
I certainly have! Whenever I’m stepping up and doing something that’s really meaningful to me I experience it. BAM! Tightness in the belly, flutters in the heart, chaotic thoughts.
Contraction before expansion is an unavoidable part of any transformational process. But you can let it keep you down, small and discouraged. The fruits of your commitment to embrace your full potential as spirit living through a physical body are SO worth it.
Here’s my tale of why it’s worth it to follow your heart & how I almost didn’t start dancing…
In February 2011, on a whim of hearty inspiration, my best friend and I packed up our house, quit our jobs and sold anything of value we owned to finance moving to a small island in Thailand to participate in Mystical Dance Teacher Training Course with no plan of ever returning to Australia.
In the depths of my soul I intuitively knew getting into dance was going to change my life fundamentally yet I felt a mixture of excitement and extreme nerves as I had never really danced much before.
The first few of days on the island before the course started were bliss. We spent our days drinking coconuts, lounging in hammocks and riding around on scooters with the wind of freedom blowing in our hair.
Until the afternoon one day prior to the course starting. Riding along on a scooter laughing & singing something ridiculous, we turned a corner in the road, some loose sand caused the scooter tyres to slip, I lost control and we both came crashing onto the concrete.
We hit the ground hard and emerged dazzled, concussed and covered in blood, grit and road rash.
Our only consolation: two handsome men found us, picked us up and took us to the hospital.
At the Thai hospital we received basic care to clean up our visible wounds and were sent home to rest. Sent home to allow the shock to wear off and begin feeling the devastation of having a broken body only 12 hrs out from starting my supposed to be life-changing dance experience.
I had intense pain in my right collarbone and it was highly recommended that I go get an x-ray. I knew I had two choices if I went to get an x-ray. Either the x-ray would show my collarbone wasn’t broken and I’d just have to take it easy, rest and wear a sling for a while OR it would show a fracture and I’d have to go home to have it fixed and thus miss my Mystical Dance Teacher Training Course.
My attitude was extremely stubborn. Participating in this dance course was absolutely non-negotiable for me. I knew deep down I had to be there no matter what. My heart was calling me to be there beyond all pain, nerves, uncertainty, inconvenience and rational thought. So I showed up the next day like a beat up ragdoll.
One side of my body covered in dressings hiding ugly wounds and with arm in a sling, ready to dance amidst feeling a deep sadness and disappointment in my heart.The following five weeks of the course were both ecstatic and excruciating.
A few nights I lay in bed screaming and weeping in searing physical pain, lamenting that life was so unfair to do this to me, and for all I tried it was so hard to accept my reality.
Yet each day, I showed up dancing with one arm and tried to surrender to a divine dance beyond suffering.
Fast forward 3 years or so to September 2014:
Sacred Dance has grown into a sisterhood of extraordinary women united in awakening the feminine within themselves. I am confidently able to quit my day job to dance and teach full time. I’ve had the privilege of passing the embodiment of Sacred Dance onto hundreds of women whose lives have also been transformed.
I’m lying in a hospital bed, notably a little high on morphine, my collarbone has just been reconstructed from two mal-aligned fractured pieces with a muscle in between into one neat bone plated with 8 screws beginning to heal and everything makes perfect sense.
I understand why it all happened this way, I feel my entire being swelling in gratitude, dancing inside and in love with my heart that loyalty is always revealing the right path for me to tread.
Very regularly I see women grappling with showing up during their transformational process.I get it. I feel it too.
It’s hard to muster up the courage to embrace the one thing you really deeply desire that simultaneously scares the shit out of you.
But, if you want to do anything meaningful with your life you CANNOT side step the experience of uncertainty, doubt, fear and challenges.
Your power lies in realising these contractions are a natural part of the process and not to let them stop you from showing up and taking action where you know you need to.
I share my story hopefully to inspire you to see the value of going through the obstacles and your perceived limitations. I still experience this contract-expand dynamic all the time, it never goes away, you can only get more committed & relaxed about going through.
The contraction we experience is always proportional to the transformation and expansion awaiting us on the other side of fear.
Keep showing up where your heart wants you.
You’ve got this and you’re not alone.
STAY TUNED: Obstacles to Transformation [PART 2]; The Power of Commitment